EmilyStrange

The Chronicles of Ms. Evil
2001-10-29 19:26:58 (UTC)

3.............2.............1............Mental breakdown

Wow, sorry I haven't written in like forever, I really
haven't had the need or I just thought I didn't. I had the
most awesome weekend with erin. We went to a club and
danced like we told each other we would do so long ago. We
kept saying we needed to go clubbing and we finally did,
and it was so much fun. I hurt so much after but it was so
much fun. We went to a bonfire and that was kewl too. But
anyway lets get onto what I mean in the title right, right.

okay here goes. I have a fucking phone bill which is 235
and then I have an overdrawn account for my checking
account. which I totally didn't notice. but anyways. I
have a chance to go to harrisburg and work at this sale
which i'll make almost 500. Which i really do need. Here
is the problem, the dates i have to be down there are the
7th-the 10th i'm leaving harrisburg at 3:00 on the 10th,
I'm supposed to be going to ken's grandma's birthday party
on the 10th. He really wants me to go and I told everyone
I can go, but i need to go to this sale. I would like to
say that i'm going to the sale for the experience but
that's a fucking lie I NEED to go. Ken doesn't know about
my phone bill, no one really knows about it, so he doesn't
know why i need to go to this sale. I already told this
guy I was going to the sale, I can't back out now. i hate
to do this to ken but i need to go to this sale. Now to
top it all off, the girl who's car i was going to be using
this weekend to go to pa well her car isn't drivable. It's
struts are too short and she needs to tighten them every
couple days or if she takes a turn a certain way her wheel
will fall off, and she needs axel boots for her car too.
So now not only am i not going to see ken on the 10th but i
don't have a way to get down there this weekend. and I
haven't seen him in a month, and he's all depressed and
stuff, and he was so looking forward to seeing me, and he
already bought the hockey game tickets we were going to go
to. Hi my name is emily and I want to crawl in a hole and
not come out for the rest of my life. I nearly fall over
in the shower, I was like standing there and cried and
cried until my kness like gave out, and i had to catch
myself on that little railing thingy in there. I stormed
out of the dorms and took a walk, cried the whole way.
Everyone wanted ot know why I looked so sad in my one class
and while I was explaining I had to fight back the tears. I
choked them down and acted partially calm. I can't stand
it. I am so happy all the time, everyone can tell when
something is wrong. I just didn't want to think about it
anymore. I don't want to think about anything. I just want
for my brain to go totally numb. That would be nice. I
have to tell ken about this but I hate telling him becuase
of my stupidity I keep fucking things up, that's how I lost
zack, my own stupidity. WHY CAN'T I GET ANYTHING
RIGHT!!!!!!more venting later

Ms. Evil