Dagger_2k1

Empty Canvas
2001-10-29 17:13:28 (UTC)

Simplicity of A drawing from The heart

Maybe what i have wanted all this time, and tried so hard
to finially get, isn't what I wanted after all. Maybe i
can't find love, maybe love will have to find me. I need to
move, i need a fresh start, if i stay in this damn town any
longer i will be ready to pull my hair out! So many die in
this little redneck town, i am better then them, i am
better then what i have become. Who am i? Once long long
ago...i knew who i was. But along the path of life i lost
my way, to no long see the sun shining through the tall
tall trees. The grassy underlay is all i have seen for
years. It is time that i leap forth, out from under the
bushes and begin again. Alas it is the only way for me to
find myself again. I will never be what i once was
complelty...because my journey has altered and changed me-
maybe for good or for bad. But i accept those changes, and
will become one with myself when the time is right. I know
what i want to become - i just need to find the right path.
I need a new beginning to do so though- and that will take
some time. But indeed- maybe i thought i love chris, but
alas it was only because i did not know him as well as i
thought i did, or maybe i don't really love him because he
has never returned my affection. For love, not one, but two
people must share the same mutual feeling. And i see now
that it is not so. And maybe it will never be so, but i
know that it is hard, very hard to let go. Maybe when i
return someday, i will have acieved my goal, all i want is
a steady job, a loving husband, a child, a house/ car, and
a good wholesome simple life. The joy of going to ball
games and eating hotdogs, going to school plays, spending
time with someone i love -who loves me back. I have always
been missing a piece of my heart- it was once filled by a
pet of mine, she was my sunlight- my little sunshine
mousey. I loved her as a mother loves a daughter- she was
my friend first and forever. I pray that god gives every
being the love i have felt before, because without love, we
are nothing.-dagger




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