Nick's Journal
2001-10-29 16:46:09 (UTC)

Happy Hour

I like to drink. No, no, wait, I like to drink A LOT.
And if having 20 "homework" beers and a chocolate beer in
the morning makes me an alcoholic then so be it. But i'd
like to think that i can handle my vomit. The last time i
puked was in may, and that was off a lot of liquor. Now
usually when my comrades and i drink we can find some sort
of concave object to hurl our innards into, and if we're in
public, we are very decent and hurl our guts into the
nearest bush. We do no however go to football games and
unleash a torrential rain of puke.
Now if you are the stupid fucking sorority bitch who reads
this then please do me a favor and just stop drinking now,
oh and tell your drunk ass 8,000 year old mother, wanna-be
cool again so i'm gonna drink as much as my daughter to go
into fucking rehab. I'm not joking. This girl fell from
the row behind us into ours! All 25 lbs of her anorexic
ass! I was kinda worreid that she'd blow off into the air
and land in midfield. So anyhow, after she went careening
down towards us, her drunk mother helped her up and the two
of them sat huddled together. Now first of all i find it
funny that the mother held her shit and the sorority girl
didn't. Anyhow, I told Mark about 5 mins before it all
happened that the chick was gonna puke. She just had that
look on her face. And then it came. It hit jason and his
dad. Finally they cart he out-of-control ass out, and the
vomit stench just lingers.
I thwarted authority! It is OUTRAGEOUS that hokie grill
has a limit on the parmesan cheese! Isn't it common
knowledge that pizzas NEED parmesan? But today was the
last straw. Not having had my breakfast at dietrick i
dropped by hokie grill and unleashed the carnage. I took
the supreme pizza nd the buffalo wings, then I screamed OH
turned i took the parmesan bowl. and put it under my
jacket. I quickly rolled over to the cashier where I was
confronted by the hideous creature blocking the gate (also
known as Samantha the 3,000 lb check out lady). I could
smell the rack of lamb, 15 cheeseburgers, pound of cheesy
fries, and 20 pork chops, she'd had for breakfast. It hit
my like a 50,000 calorie piece of Chocolate Oblivion. I
started to shake, as her nose feverently sniffed looking
for any food that i might be hiding. She was like a drug
hound, only with more wrinkles. Her hungry eyes fell on my
pizza and wings, then her sly gaze grabbed my eyes by their
sockets. Don't give me that "cheesy" smile boy, I know you
have something else, fork it over! I started to panick, I
didn't know what would happen if I were caught with the
FREE parmesan cheese! OH dear god why had i broken the
law? What did i hope to gain? I trembled and reached
across her foaming face for the drink cups and confronted
her stare. OH yeah, that's right i also want a DRINK
thank you very much Jabba....I mean samantha. ONe of these
days I'm going to get you she rasped as I sauntered off.
So Halloween was graet. I dressed up as an Austrian-Bam-
Margera. I was really cool. So if you want somebody to
love, you need somebody to love, wouldn't you love somebody
to love? You better find somebody to love.....and don't
take NO for an answer!!!