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Ezoic
2001-10-29 09:39:43 (UTC)

Graduation, thoughs on

It's two hours until the graduation ceremony. I can't
believe it, the time to graduate is finally here. Yeah! I'm
so excited but also really scared about what's to come. I
have to idea what the future holds for me and I'm not
really dealing with that small fact all that well. I go to
Scotland in 4 weeks time.

My friends and family will be 12,000 miles away and I'll be
all alone out there in the world. I know it should all be
an adventure but I'm kinda apprehensive about that whole
transition between school and the real world. It's not like
I'm being slowly edged into the world, it's like I've been
kicked out of a plane and staright into the blue sky that
is the real world.

Not only am I changing routine, normalcy and tradition but
I;m also chaning house, street, city, country and
hemisphere. Jeez. How many people can say they got that
carried away after they left school? I suppose that I was
more adventurous when I decided that I wanted to go to
Scotland for a year.

I'm now kinda fond of my life here and my routine. God, I
wish I hadn't been so spontaneous. Oh well, I hope that
I'll benifit from my time away from here. Maybe I'll gain
some perspective as to what it is that I'm doing here.
Maybe it's all just pointless. Sometimes I feel like I
don't matter to anyone. I feel like that a lot actually. I
feel like no one takes any notice of me and that I have no
right to be here.

Everything that I say or do is wrong and no one seems to
understand that I'm just sussing out what it's all about
too. I resent that. i wish people would just give me some
space to discover what it is that I want out of life and
what it is that life wants from Me.


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