2001-10-29 08:22:10 (UTC)

29th October 2001

Best friends are a waste of time. If there even is such a
thing. It's probably just a title we give to someone.
Someone who doesn't deserve it. They're just someone who
makes us believe we can trust them. Someone we put our
heart and soul, our minds deepest thoughts and our bodys
weakest energies into. Someone whos head swells easily.
Confusion is the state I am in. Complete and utter
disorientation mixed with a blend of frustration, to make a
silly fool like myself. I'm continuously hurt by friends...
well people who claim they own the title of "friends",
Therefore by giving them my friendship, somehow leaves me
vulnerable to pain and suffering.
Now I don't know much, and yes I am very young. but I am
educated enough to back up all that's been said, with
personal experiences that have happened numerous times. 14
years I have been alive, placed on this earth to cry for
god knows how long, and then to die. A death either caused
by myself, or a slow, painful death in a mental institution
caused by everyone else.
I try to tell people about it, try to make my family see my
hurt. But they're all oblivious to it, wrapped up tightly
in their own lives full of sociable activities, fun and
laughter. I on the other hand prefer to wear a smile, while
my insides are ripped, and I drown in a continuous
unstppable flow of tears. But, as I deny the questions
of "Is something wrong?" you shall not need a high IQ to
see the sadness in my now grey eyes.