sweetaddiction

a fix.

i dont really know what to think now.
i dont really know where we stand.
and i dont understand
not anymore.
from now to then.
from back to foward.
and again its
i told you.
i told you.
momentary bliss.
ungilded hapiness.
and it all really has its end.
doesnt it
magnified
like you and i
a period has many different dots.
lots of dots like fights.
make up a goodbye.
and i believe.
maybe im nieve.
but i do
in you and me.
i just dont know where we stand.
i dont know where i am.
but im fine with or without you.
there is so much i have to do
so much that i should say.
and i dont know how to put anything
i just know how to write what i feel.
write it down.
and the delete it later.
fading thoughts.
anger passes.
just like the blood through my veins.
aching for something that will never again
come to save it.
save it from me.
from the world.
from it all.
and unhappiness is the norm these days.
there isnt a single intelligent soul
who is content
but what can we do
what DO we do.
we go through
our tiny part of life.
and we struggle
and we hurt
and we fuck
and we work
and it all comes down
all of it
to the same place.
the same fuckgn place as everyone
how am i spending my time
how are you spending yours
and whos to say whats better.
or worse.
whos salvaged.
whos cursed.
im sorry is all that ill say.
there is really no way
for me to explain.
no words will fix the pain ive cause you
and all i really want you to know now
is that
i love you.

~for adrienne