My problems.
Ad 2:
2001-10-29 01:53:20 (UTC)

Hit A Deer....

I have been thinking about this entry all day, what to say,
what not to say, the whole nine yards. I was
anticipating through out the day. Suddenly while in the
car with my family my mom screamed and I looked up
and say the deers antler, then I saw debrie fly into the
air. I thought at first it was the deer and that it had
exploded or something, but it was parts of the grill.

The deer didn't die either. It got up and started to go
back into the road until my mother had jumped out of
the car to shue it away. Then it went down an small hill
sorta thinge and fell. Then it ran off into the woods.

I guess my mom saw it really good though, she said
one of its leg was just swished in the wind. I felt pretty
bad but relized there was nothing I could do. Then we
sat there for like half an hour waiting for the cop to show
up so we could file a report.

It was a strange day though. Earlier I was in the car
playing music on my computer and I asked my little
brother what songs he wanted to hear when he
reached over and starting looking down the list.
Accowardly enough one of the songs he wanted to hear
was "I'm real." I said immeditly "NO!" so we didn't play
it. Odd huh?

Anyways I today I relized what my life was composed of.
The only thing I really do in my life is help my parents. I
never really go out with anyone because my parents
feel as though the need me to do work. My parents own
too businesses, a game store, and a game route.

The store I goto everyday and usually try to help when I
can. But the game route is horrible. We go out every
once and a while and cash out our 50 locations and
get the money and fix the games and clean em' and
stuff. Not really that fun, but its what pays the bills. So
while being in the car today I gotta thinkin. Thinking
about what I was going to write today. And I thought
about telling you how bad my luck with girls is.

Whenever a girl starts to like me, I screw it up horribly.
This one girl, Jamie, really liked me a in 6th grade (She
was a 7th grader). She came to my store and we hung
out and everything. We really got a long and then the
unthinkable happend. We took her out one not for a
cashing out adventure. My dog, Zoey, a chineese
shar-pei road with us in the back seat. When we got to
our final destination, a Pizza Hut, Jamie and I decided
to stay in the car. Then the worst possible thing
happend. She asked if we could take Zoey for a walk, I
decided nothing really bad could happen, so I said
sure. I knew not to give her the leesh because It just
wasn't safe. But she asked to walk the dog and
naturally I let her.

Out of no where Zoey jumps and starts running, Jamie
drops the leesh. My awesome dog runs across four
lanes of traffic, not a scratch. I was scared and
helpless so all I could do is watch, and scream her
name. We both screamed for her, and we both
crossed the street to get her. Unfortunetly Zoey thought
different. Zoey decided to take another shot at the four
lanes and ran through again. This time, unfortuently
she was hit. I will never forget the moment she was hit.
I heard her yelp in pain and saw her go under the car. It
had been the worst thing I ever saw, the unthinkable

Naturally I started crying, this was my favorite dog in the
whole world and there was a chance she could die. I
was worried so immeditly I ran to my dog. She was just
sitting there in shock, Jamie ran to the Pizza Hut to tell
my parents. I meanwhile sat there with my helpless
dog trying to calm her down. She bit me, I don't think
she really meant to, but I guess thats what you do when
your in shock. You want to get rid of the pain so you
take a bite outta something. The problem is that
Shar-Pei's have lock jaw. So she wouldn't let go. I had
a huge whole in my palm and it didn't even matter, all
that mattered was that my dog survived. So my parents
ran over all scared and stuff and Zoey let go of my hand.
I ran to the Pizza Hut and washed my hands. They put
Zoey in the car and we drove to the vet. Thankfully she
survived. She had punctured a lung or something and
she had air in her chest so they had to watch her
overnight. Jamie though, Jamie was horrified. She
thought it was all her fault and she kept blaming
herself. So after that happend we really didn't talk.

Unfortunetly for Jamie later in life she made the wrong
decisions, she got pregnant and dropped out of school.

The next story is about a girl named Jessica, who even
though I was dirty, liked me a lot. Again with this girl we
did a lot together. We hung out naturally at my parents
store. And one day she told my mother she liked
someone in my store at the moment. My mom pointed
out EVERY guy, except me and she said no. Then my
mom said my name and she smiled and nodded her
head. Later that day my mom told me that she had said
this. I was really happy cause finally a girl liked me.
But I screwed it up again. I saw her again that day
outside of my store and I told her the stupidest thing in
the world. I told her, "My mom told me you like me." she
immeditly turned around and walked home and didn't
talk to me again for about.... 3 years. Now I have
classes with her and stuff but shes really not who I
thought who she was back then. Now shes a drug
addict and stuff, but it really doesn't matter. I screwed it

I guess I have really bad luck with women and I just
don't know how to act around ones I like. I was kinding
hopeing that I wouldn't screw things up with Angela, but
I guess it just didn't work out. And theres nothing I can
do about that but wait. Wait until shes ready, wait until
the time is right.

I guess I write these things nowing shes going to read
them. But I'm just confused. I still don't exactly know
why she couldn't give me a fair chance. Six days isn't
exactly a fair chance. I really thought we had something
special and that we could last long, but I guess, "In the
end it doesn't even matter." ((Linkin' Park))


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