Joshin Jane

Passionfruit
2001-10-29 00:51:20 (UTC)

concavity

i couldn't go to sleep last night.
i was feeling so frustrated when i got done writing and i
knew there were things left to say but i didn't know what
they were.
so i stayed up....
i was up when holls left, and when she came home, and when
she went out and came back again to drop off jen and
bennett.
i organized my playlist and downloaded obscure music and
listened to lyrics and wished i could write like that.
reading emily's journal entries had the same effect on
me....she just somehow manages to be so frank and so open.
there are certain qualities that i see not only in her but
in my other friends and i've been trying to find myself the
past few months using my friends as guidelines.
but it's hard; i can't keep constantly knocking myself when
so many other people are doing the same.
that's why i've turned to music.
that's why i feel about my mixes the way anita feels about
her car keys.

i spoke to my dad about thanksgiving, and he was very
reasonable.
he actually didn't know that my mom had given me a definite
no on matt driving us home.
i just hope now that everything will work out overall;
these reunions are really what keep me going while i'm
here, trying to get through school and everything.

i still have this feeling of needing to get something off
my chest but i don't know what it is so i'm not going to
crowd this with small talk.
maybe i'll come back to it later.

our lady peace:
walked around my good intentions
and found that there were none
I blame my father for the wasted years
we hardly talked
I never thought I would forget this hate
then a phone call made me realize I知 wrong

and if I don稚 make it known that
I致e loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we池e all dumb and jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what痴 wrong

I walked around my room not thinking
just sinking in this box
blame myself for being too much like somebody else
I never thought I would just
bend this way

and if I don稚 make it known that
I致e loved you all along
just like sunny days that
we ignore because
we池e all dumb and jaded
and I hope to God I figure out
what痴 wrong




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