Kittys Crazy Land
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2001-10-28 17:22:58 (UTC)

Oct 28 2001

Dear Readers,

Wow I can't believe I am doing this, but I need to find
some way to get out these feelings I have. First of my name
is Kitty. I live in Gainesville Florida and I attend Santa
Fe. I love performing and my biggest dream is to be a
singer. Wait no my biggest dream is being married with kids
and a great family life of my own like my parents had. I
have been very active in high school from
ColorGuard,band,track,softball,soccer,Basketball and even
drum corps. Now a days I really don't get involve that
mucha nd trust me it shows. I am not fat nor chunky just
not to fit. I am very out going yet, shy when I meet new
I have had alot of sadness in my 20 years of life. I
have seemed to have lost everyone from best friend to
uncles and grandparents due to death. I have about 4
members left of my close family. I have had 4 major
relationships in my my life. all at least a year.Chris is
my first love that was on and off all through high school.
James I went out with for about two years in highschool and
Jamey was my love of my life, my true soulmate. But now he
has changed he is all in to Jesus and it is way out of
hand. I am catholic and all but, I do not preach
everything. Then there is Peter I have been with him or
should I say would have been with him for 11 months. I meet
him in High school my freshman year and didn't start dating
him till he moved up to gainesville for school. I gave up
everything for him not cause he asked me to but, because I
wanted to cause I love him. That is the kind of person I am
I give up everything to make people love me. Yesterday we
got in a big fight about lunch and I cried like always and
he called me a cry baby and said he could not marry a cry
baby live me.I used to never cry I kept it all inside and I
am paying for it now. I am trying to get all my emotions
out now so that I not have a mental break down like my mom
had when my uncle died this summer. I know I am not easy to
be with right now but, Sometimes I question is it just him
I am not easy to be with. He drives me crazy! He always
puts fault on eveyone and thing but, him. He says he is
sorry but, he says I am sorry but it ......fault. He never
cares anymore if he hurts me. He just goes out with his
friends and never calls. While me I sit around and do
nothing but, wait for him. I love him so much I begged him
to take me back last night, I didnt do any wrong. AND WHAT
HE SAY? No I can't be in a relationship right now. Well I
beg more and He
still says no. I say I need him he says he needs time. My
mom says not to worry he loves me and let him call me not
me call him. She says he will come around when I stop.
Maybe she is right but will I want him then?