Not So Pretty

burn out
2001-10-28 16:36:28 (UTC)

"I never meant to cause you trouble..."

umm... I just kinda figured that since I kept getting those
reminder's in the mail from this email thingy.....that I
should actually use it. so like...let's see..
nothing "interesting" has happened to me in the past
ohhhhhh I dunno couple of dayz..? I think..except for the
fact that on tuesday my parents and I are going to meet my
sister's boyfriend. his name is Troy....I guess she loves
him. but I don't know. I hope she does. she needs to be
happy. I'm supposed to go to the scaregrounds on monday
with Chelsea, Kristina, Patrick, and Justin. Kristina and
Patrick are now goin' out. Chelsea says that they're a
cute little couple...but I don't think so... honestly, I
think they look like shit together..but then again, that's
just me. and I can't judge them. I mean like..look at all
the relationship's I've had... a whole 1! and that was with
Josh...who wasn't very....mentally stable, and was in and
out of mental hospitals like. 2 and 3 times a month. *sigh*
I guess I was just lucky to find him though...he made me
happy. but NOOOO! he just all the sudden had to
leave...and I have fucking clue where he is. I
guess it was never meant to be...? or else I was just
never meant to be happy. and I'm fucking sick and tired of
this one guy named Jason...whos clings around Justin like
he's his god or something. all he ever talks about is him
being sucidle and his mom putting him in a mental
hospital...and while he's saying it, he's smiling...I mean
like...are we supposed to have sympathy for that? all he
wants is the fucking attention. it's just so sad. and no
one likes him either.. especially Chelsea..but then
again... chelsea doesn't like anyone unless they fit her
standards....which like...0000000004 people do. She says
that I'm pretty, and that I'm the nicest person that she
knows.. I guess maybe I should accept her compliments. oh
well, n e who...I'm sick. my throat is like burning and
I'm like... "AHHH!" my head is spinning and my back and
neck hurts. I think I have the flu.... *sigh* I like
Patrick. he's like so sweet, and he has really pretty
eyes. but he would never go out with me...I mean
like.....the first day that we talked he saw all of the
cuts on my arms. I mean....there was like...60! I'm
pretty fucking ashamed of that....I never meant to do any
harm to anyone....sorry people. but the subject
thingy....if you hadn't noticed was from a's by
colplay called "trouble" and all fucking day yesterday I
was trying to download it. and every single time it either
couldn't download it.....or else it would stop at 90% while
it was downloading. I guess I gotta settle for that
though. but it's a really pretty song....I suggest you
listen to the radio and listen for it...or else just
download it if you can.. jesus! who am I talking to? AHH!
I'm assuming just myself...... or maybe my grandma who's
washing dishes in the kitchen...or maybe my lil
kitten "zoe" or maybe my other kitten..."umbra"?
Umbra..such a pretty lil kitten, she's siamese and for all
of you people who failed science class in the 8th
grade.... an umbra is the darkest part of a shadow. nice
huh? yeah's better then being like everyone else
and calling her "snowball" that's just so....stupid. I
mean....everyone wants to call a white cat snowball.... but
why can't I be different. my aunt got pissed at me when I
wanted to call the kitten "ebony" and I'm like...."don't
you understand the concept of opposites!?" but
aunt can be nice sometimes.... like last night when she let
me watch her movie "dumbo" I was like.... "YAY!" but ne
who..I guess I should be going now... I have to take a
shower se me and my dad can go out to breakfast. toodlez!
have fun! and ohhhhhh yeah....if you...or anyone is reading
this.....please respond to it....I just wanna see who you
are many people respond...something like
that...thanks for your time and effort.....bye! ~Jecka~