inque nine/synthetic sour
2001-10-28 09:08:47 (UTC)


i was chatting w/ ruven on aim, but he disappeared for some
reason. and he's been gone for awhile... i dont know y.
so now i'm feeling all hurt n everything.. which i kno is
stupid, cuz no one said he stopped talking 2 me on
purpose. i mean, i dont even kno wat the reason is that
he's not talking n e more. things were going pretty
well... but yanno.. gawd knows i take things way 2
personally a lot o' the time. ok... basically ALL of the
time. =P

my decision 2 stay w/ marvin IS final, however. but
just 'cause i've chosen marvin doesn't mean i dont wanna b
friends w/ ruven @ all. c, im afraid 2 tell him i've
finally (pfft... 'finally'... i only found out there
actually WAS a situation yesterday... but we talked about
it fer so long it seems like longer than it actually was)
made a decision, cuz when he finds out that i havent chosen
him, he'll just leave me altogether. just b/c we're of the
opposite sex, doesnt mean that the only circumstance in
which we communicate w/ each other is if we're in a steady
relationship, rite...

so yeah... i'm just going to go along w/ things fer as long
as i can. i wanted 2 keep things going fer a long
time 'cause of the job and the madison, but... i'm not even
sure how much it's guaranteed that either of those
things'll ever happen, y'kno?

anyway.... im gonna try not 2 dwell on this 2 much... i
need to like, NOT stress fer once. =P