Just Another Dumb Blonde
2001-10-28 07:22:19 (UTC)

empty of emotion

i dont know how i feel anymore. one of my best friends
sister is dying, iknow it. she just got in a cr crash, they
said she was fine... then they found bruises all over her
chest. they are checking 4 internall bleeding, shes so
dead. i dont kno what to say o bekah. i really dont. what
must it be like to know that ur sister probly is going to
die?! good lord...
maybe its selfish of me to want to die. noele is about to
crash, so much is going on for her rite noww. here she is,
pouring her heart out to me, and im all u cant crash noele,
u gotta pull thru this, do not break down... then look at
all this shit ive been writing!!!!!!! boy is she lookin at
the wrong person 4 advice. i dont know what to say...


seriously, no one is enjoying life anymore. its all dull
and/or shitty. what a great time to be alive!!! NOT. when
did the world become a slut?! its fucking EVERYONE over!
funny joke haha.
jeff wants me to tell him why i dont want to let him see
me naked. i dont wana tell him yet tho, i feel dum telling
people. hes all u have a hot body whats there to be ashamed
of? blah blah blah BLAHHHHHHH! ok jeff, i got FUCKING
MOLESTED my whole life does tat answer ur question!
?!?!?!?!?!?! JEEZUS i wish i cud just... i dont know...
not have to fight. i dont know how to explain it, but
evrydy it seem like i have to fight guys. they touch me, i
either cringe away or kinda respond then find a way to pull
away with out hurting their feelings.... except jeff, i
dont mind when he hugs me,i feel loved. but then he goes
and lifts up my shirt when he KNOWS i dont want him to look
at me and he says the one phrase that makes me just want to
go into a violent rageing fit...
i hate that phrase with a passion. no i do not like it. i
am laughing nervously cuz i dont want to hurt ur feelings
but im saying no dont cuz i dont want u to do that. well i
have to go now, sweet dreams everyone, lets see if we can
all make it through another night.