Jessica/Jesykah

Muh Diary..about my boring ass life
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2001-10-28 06:05:43 (UTC)

Hmmmm

Well,I guess Beth is right....he will eventually get over
it..I mean god,its not like we did anything more than just
kiss...I guess I just feel like I broke his heart,but maybe
Im just too worried about other peoples feelings over my
own,I mean Im not gonna be able to please everyone all the
time,right? hmmmm...I dunno....Monday at school should be
interesting too -sigh-and then I guess Heather
(She 'helped' in the whole situation-also cut my arm w/ her
nails in the process lol)is riding my bus home to go to
Daves house.....so that should be interesting,cuz she'll
most likely say sumthin about it,and then Ill hafta listen
to Nicole bitch and complain(she complains about EVERYTHING
I do,whether it involves her or not -sigh-)So anyways...I
just feel bad about everything...not saying it wasnt worth
it,I mean nothing was EVER gonna happen between me and
Mike...i just dont like him that way,but still,why cant
things just be easier?Who knows if anything will even
happen between me and Russ anyways, cuz I have a serious
trust issue and commitment problem thanks to a past
relationship(and thanks to Beth in a sense too....all the
relationships that involve her introducing us or whatever
always turn out bad-example:Josh-he was abusive,and even
slammed my head into the wall once...and there was Rich-who
was just straight out ANNOYING LMAO,Josh was the one who is
the reason I now have 'issues' tho -sigh- but yanno
anyways) ....and from what Ive been told, Russ' last gf
kinda 'broke' him.-sigh- Alotta ppl want us to go out...but
what about what we want,not what they want..I mean,if we
had a more-than-friends relationship now,it could ruin a
potentially good relationship between us (whether its as
friends or more),since we both have stuff to work
through...who knows right now tho....maybe in the
weeks/months to come something good will come out of all
this.... but as of right now,I dont know yet -shrug-
well,Im gonna go-

Jessica


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