as the Oval turns
2001-10-27 17:28:37 (UTC)

Playing House

Mom always used to tell me never to play house.

I've had to give my life a little reflection, especially as
far as my relations with Pacey go. The other day, I had run
into him at the commons and he needed to resubmit a med
school app online at a comp with a phone. So I let him use
my computer. Well, 5 minutes turned into close to four
hours, for various reasons...and I fell asleep while he was
there (hope I didn't snore). But at one point Claudia had
called, and he answered the phone...oops. Not to mention
that when he left, he left his orange fleece jacket behind.
Well, later on, I was talking to Jenna, and I was whining
about how I like how things are right now with us as
friends, but at the same time, I don't b/c I wish that we
were together. So we were talking, and we were teasing out
why I keep getting into these "Pacey hates me and I must
suck" moods. So God was into sorting it all out, and He
helped us to see what's going on. My freshman year, I had
told Pacey I was attracted to him but I didn't want to date
him. He didn't say anything until right after spring break
the same year when he said "oh I just want to be
friends"...duh. Well, I was more than fine with that. Then
God revealed the 411 to me, fine. But then Easter Sunday
that year, we all hung out or whatever, and Pacey told a
friend of ours some shady stuff behind my back...basically
the story was that he felt that I was only being his friend
b/c I thought he would change his mind about not wanting to
be with me, that the situation with me was like the
situation with some other girl (which I figured out who it
was later), and the reason that he didn't want to hook up
with was...brb.