Karen & Austin~edd=11-15-01
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2001-10-27 13:45:35 (UTC)

#2 Bad Bad Bad #2

I was deathly bored the other night talking to a friend
about a letter I forwarded her.
Her:Who's (name)?I never saw that name in UR others from bf.
Me:I Dunno:))Should I check?
Her:Look her up.Dares da full name.Ill look too
So my IM pal and I were compeating to see what we could
find.I dont mean to be nosey but my curiosity got the better
of me.My bfs been briefly mentioning this girl as a friend
since March.I wanted to see what she looked like so if our
paths ever cross by accident Id know.Plus it was a fun way
to spend my time.We found her last and current home
address,phone number,and a road map to her front door.I had
no interest in more than her picture and the city she lived
in.My friend said I should go to my bfs house and call her
to see if he notices.I told her I wasnt pressed enough to
call and bother the poor girl.If she wants him she can take
him as long as she keeps him.She started jiveing about how I
could call and start breathing deep or get a voice changer
and so on,lol.We had fun with it all.
~~~~What makes the info stick out?~~~~
1.Around the time I told my bf I was pregnant we started
fighting for Austins life or death through e mail and phone
calls.Ive kept these emails for so long to remind myself how
much our relationship has changed to be better than that.One
has a PS on it saying he was traveling that weekend for his
job,that happens to match the girls local area at that time.
2.One weekend my bf said he was going to a coworkers wedding
at 8am so he wouldnt be home until about 4pm.He called me
from his cell outside a resteraunt.I could hear dishes
clatter and people talking so I was half ok with it except
for the fact it was 7:30pm when he called.I was pissed off
about it but the fallowing weekend he showed me this card
from the wedding and told me about the foods and stuff.It
looked ok enough so I let it go.It wasnt a big deal that his
neighbor told me he got home at 1am because in weed smokers
time could mean 8pm.
3.My bf told me one day"(name)might be moving close by.Her
roomate uses her for things without thanking her..."I knew
he was talking about that fucking baby furniture.He accepts
this kid 7 months after wanting to kill him and expects me
to be thankfully bowing at his feet for it?I had the money
taken care of.Austin would of had a crib without my bfs
help.He is not father of the year for helping to pay for his
own son's things.
4.My bf is still mentioning this chicks name briefly.Hes
starting to be able to read my moods over a phone,the creepy
bastard.Im having a rough time trieing to hold them now but
I wont have pregnancy mood swings forever.So now that he
knows this girl is a high suspect he sencors better than
~~~In conclusion~~~
I dont care if he goes with some guy,girl,thing.If hes
doing a qurter of what I suspect he should save time by
walking away.
I'll HATE him for the rest of my life for everything we've
been through together.For that same reason I'll never really
want him to leave for the rest of my life.To be tied with
both emotions feels awful and wonderful all at the same
time.That isnt love anymore,its life.