blondeanddangerous
Blonde And Dangerous
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1.15 Celestial Navigation
1.15 Celestial Navigation
C.J.: Why'd he refuse the Breathalizer?
Toby: 'Cause he's a crazy man who's out to ruin my life.
Toby: Believe me when I tell you this, C.J. I will figure
out a way
to blame this on you.
C.J.: I have no doubt about that.
Leo: Have someone find his lawyer and talk to him. Sam,
there's an
Air Force Lear jet with its motor running. Fly to
Westchester
County airport, rent a car, drive to Wesley, and get the
next
associate Justice of the Supreme Court outta jail. C.J.,
Sam sees
one reporter when he gets off that plane, I'm gonna blame
you.
C.J.: Toby's got ya covered there.
Sam: Give me the bullet points.
C.J.: I understand this stuff.
Sam: Excellent.
C.J.: I really do.
Sam: I have complete confidence in you.
C.J.: Thank you.
Toby: Give him the bullet points.
C.J.: I feel bathed in your confidence as well, Toby.
Sam: Your teeth are the best friends you've got, C.J.
C.J.: They are?
Sam: You take care of them, they'll take care of you.
C.J.: When'd you start talking like this?
Sam: I'm nuts for dental hygiene.
C.J.: Go away. Now.
POTUS: "If the shoe fits." Is that the best she could do?
Leo: Of her many transgressions, Mr. President, let's not
worry
about she resorted to cliche.
Sam: Folks, all this is gonna be covered in the two o'clock
briefing. The President's late for lunch with the U.N.
ambassador.
I'm sorry.
POTUS: Thank you everyone.
[POTUS gets up and they head back towards the Oval Office.]
POTUS: That went pretty well.
Leo: We'll fix it.
Toby: Sam.
Sam: Yeah?
Toby: The U.N. ambassador is in Portugal.
Sam: Okay. My bad.
Sam: I'm using celestial navigation.
Toby: Hey, Galileo, get off at the next exit and turn the
car
around.
Leo: Thanks. Having been born yesterday on a turnip
truck...
Josh: Yeah, I heard ya the first time, I was just amusing
myself.
C.J.: I can suggest some othew things you can do wiff
yourseff.
C.J.: I can't do the bwiefing.
Josh: Why not?
C.J.: I can't ewen *say* bwiefing.
C.J.: Yoshua!
Josh: Sorry, did... did you just say my name?
C.J.: You get howstiwe.
Josh: I get... hot stuff?
C.J.: Howstiwe, howstiwe. You get howstiwe!
Josh: I don't get hostile! I don't get randomly hostile, I
get
hostile when hostility's called for.
Josh: Let me tell you something, mi compadre. You guys have
been
coddled. I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your camp
counsellor, and
I'm not your sixth grade teacher you had a crush on. I'm a
graduate
of Harvard and Yale and I believe that my powers of debate
can rise
to meet the Socratic wonder that is the White House Press
Corps.
Josh: What's going on?
Toby: Sam feels we're zeroing in on it.
Josh: You haven't found it yet?
Toby: We've been navigating by the North Star, which turned
out to
be the Delta shuttle from LaGuardia. It's a miracle we're
not in
Nantucket right now.
Sam: Let me tell you something. If we'd have stayed on the
Merritt
parkway instead of getting off at exit 29 and going east to
Greenwich, I don't think we'd have wound up in Bridgeport
so many
times.
Toby: Shut up.
C.J.: You wewe vague, you wewe howstiwe, you wewe
bewwigewant!
Toby: Have you fallen on your head?
Josh: Listen--
Toby: Have you fallen down and hit your head on something
hard?
C.J.: A secwet pwan to fight infwation!
Toby: Okay, C.J., for a little while you're going to have
to write it
down.
Leo: How the hell did they find him in Nova Scotia?
Josh: They have telephones in Nova Scotia, Leo. It's not
Amish
country.
C.J.: The Pwesident needs to be bwiefed on the events of
the day.
Toby: C.J., so help me if you use the words "Pwesident" or
"bwiefed" again...
POTUS: What?
Charlie: Good morning, Mr. President. It's Charlie. I hope--
POTUS: What could you possibly want right now?
Charlie: Sir, it's 6:30 a.m. and--
POTUS: In the morning?
Charlie: Yes sir. And I wanted to remind you that--
POTUS: I mean, what in the name of everything holy could
you want
right now?
Charlie: Sir. I need you to dig in now. It wasn't a
nightmare, you
really are the President.
Josh: No, I did not. Let me be absolutely clear, I did not
do that.
Except, yes, I did that.
Josh: Sir, there was this idiotic round robin. It was
sarcastic.
There's no way they didn't know that. They were just mad at
me for
imposing discipline and calling them stupid!
POTUS: Okay, before we go on. C.J., if blood is gushing
from the
head wound you just received from a stampeding herd of
bison,
*you'll* do the press briefing.
POTUS: You said you were gonna fix it.
Leo: I did fix it.
POTUS: It's broken again, Leo.
Mendoza: They pulled me over because I look like my name is
Roberto
Mendoza and I'm coming to rob your house.