Queer Focus
2001-10-25 20:45:54 (UTC)

Hopelessly Devoted 2 U

Sorry that I have not written in QUITE some time. A lot
off things have been going on in my life. First and
foremost, Lex and Chance have officially tied the knot. It
was actually a very beautiful ceremony that took place on
the front of a boat. I was quite happy to see them finally
do it, especially after three long ass years. It was quite
inspiring, obviously to Jordan, because he was trying to
get me to get married. I laughed it off though, not
because I do not want to, but because I have so much on my
mind right now that it could not happen for a while. And
also lets not forget that I am already married to a woman,
for the time being. Long story, don't ask!

Another big thing that is on my mind right now is that
Jordan and I are no longer together. No, we have not
broken up or anything, but I have moved in with Lex and
Chance. Jordan has decided to return home for the time
being, but has said that he is working on a way to get down
here too. He may move in with his cousin, who is looking
for a roommate in about the next two months. So in the
meantime, this is torture, pure hell. I never really
realized how much I loved Jordan until I woke up that first
morning and he was not there. Since he has left I have not
slept even one good night of sleep. I am completely
miserable and I speak of nothing or nobody else but Jordan,
Jordan, Jordan. I can imagine that people are so sick and
tired of hearing about him. They are probably ready to
kill me by now. Being so far apart (really isn't but 2
hrs) has brought out what got us together in the first
place. It's just like we were way back when I first was
falling for him. We have become all sweetness, all the
time, mushy even. But the difference is that I am so
hopelessly devoted to him already. He truly is my heart,
and I would not know what to do if he was no longer in my
life. I have cried so much more over this boi than I ever
have with anybody in my past. I cried last night, when
Enrique Iglesias's "Hero" came on. It so said so much
about our relationship. I truly worship the ground that
Jordan walks on...I love him with everything that I have
and am. He is my world, my rock, my heart. I cannot wait
until we are together again...I may not let go.

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