faiien angei

a day in the life...
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2001-10-25 04:50:52 (UTC)

eraser? my life...

is there really a point in having an erase option when
reading your previous entries?

as if you can erase the way you felt...
oh the joy if that were possible.

i'd erase all the heartache...all the betrayal...
erase the soap opera moments...

but i suppose that makes me who i am today...

i should quit smoking...went downstairs to buy a pack, and
Tony started telling me that he had a blood clot in his
throat that stopped the blood flow to his brain...
cause: Smoking

i know it's a bitchy thought..but it made me laugh when i
thought of the conversation we had before about smoking...

i was complaing to him that they should stock camels as
opposed to marlboros since marlboros use fiber glass
tony: fuck that! i've been smoking marlboro red's for 20
years and i'm fine!

should have knocked on wood!
poor old man.

on friday i decided to stay home! Some how Jason thought
that i would go out to dinner with him...how he got that
idea...i dont know. I told him to stop being so persistant.
Tiffany called me after i got home, and she told me that
she wanted me to go out with her and Jason...jason didnt
want me around as i didnt want to be around Jason...
i told them that i had no plans on going out as i had to
wake up at 7 to leave for family day (kinda strange for
such a dysfunctional family to have "family day")...no more
than 5 minutes later, the boy decided to call me since he
was in town...
he wanted to take me out...but my conscience wouldnt allow
me to go out since i had told my 2 friends that i wasnt...
why it would bother me i really dont know...
he called me the next day...family day...and asked me to
lunch...which to my dismay i couldnt go.
I had hoped that he's stay in town long enough so that i
could see him after the conclusion of my outing...but it
didnt happen.
He might come up this weekend. I told him to call me this
week. I'll probably call him tomorrow...
eugh...i was over it too.
damn him. Why is it that everytime you're over a guy (or at
least convince yourself that you are) they have to come
back around...damn them all.

it's kinda odd how it was only a dream that convinced me i
was over him...and i believed it...

in the dream i went to his house unannounced...he wasnt
home. i sat outside for a while and decided to just call
him. He came home to see me. When he got there, i found
this cute little misfits tank top...it was all black with
the white skull (of course there just to be a slipknot
reminder)...some how that was significant, not quite sure
why yet...i proceeded to put the shirt on...after which i
asked him how he had been...he told me that he had met a
girl and they had been dating. he was in love or so i
picked up...and i wasnt upset at all. I was rather happy
for him...then i had to leave...my mom took the wrong
offramp to get to his house...she was angry with me.
it was a split screen with the top half her driving around
san francisco looking for me...the bottom half, me in the
misfits tank top and the boy...
weird how your mind works in sleep.

i woke up and was over him...not to say that i was ever
under him...but i'm sure you know what i mean.

they laid off 5 girls at work...there are only 3 assistants
now...me, nikki and cindy brady...

i dont know how i'm going to deal now that my back bone is

i'm sure i can...i dealt before she got there...but that
was also before i got to know everyone...and before i
focused on their faults...

wish me luck.

good luck me!

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