A Crazy Persons Thoughts
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2001-10-25 01:15:46 (UTC)

the longest week of my life

yesterday and today have been so emotionally draining. all
i want to do is sleep. Everything is such a big deal to me
now. ever sense going to sabrina, i've been completely
weepy and unstable. School worries me, friends worry me,
family problems worry me. everything matters.
But today was not entirely bad. God granted me an extra day
to study for my history test, thank you jesus. He also had
coach talk to me today. it was really nice too. i was
suprised. i expected her to scold me or maybe tell me i was
off cheer, but she didn't. she asked me how i was doing. It
is so great to hear teachers ask that. We talked for a
while, and it wasn't like me explaining things to her, it
was more like she was wanting to know what was making me so
sad. well, she knows kind of, but this time, she just
listened, and shared with me about some of her troubled
times. I felt like she actually cared this time.
And then she told me that she talked to some of my
teachers, and to Mrs Harter, and they are all behind me.
She said that they are all willing to work with me, and
most important, that i get to keep cheer. I was so
relieved, i just cried and cried. Now instead of having to
work against everything, i have some suport behind me, and
a little less stress on top of me. Hopefully, i will be
able to come through this time. I dont know what about that
paper though. i should probably tell somebody that i
haven't started it. Oh well, i probably wont. ill probably
just b.s. my way through it, and get it out of the way. i
cant worry about it any more. it will kill me, i swear.
so although today was hard, it wasn't all together bad.
Thats something that ive been learning. Not all things that
are hard are bad. They're just difficult.
Danny has been a great friend. He cheers me up when i am
down, and is concerned when i am sad. Especially with jess
gone, we have really clung to one another. well, not clung,
that's not the right word. We've been spending the time
that we would have with jess with each other. No mistake,
he doesn't replace jessica in any way, but he has a nice
effect on me that's unique to him. I miss jessica
desperately, but i think it will be better next year than
it is right now, because she will still be able to chat.
Then i can still talk to her everyday. She says that she
wont make any friends in Chicago, but i know she will. she
cant help it. Thats one thing about her, she can pretend to
like anyone. What a talent.
well, only 2 more days left in my week. hopefully i wont
break before then.