bluff before i

my life, my world, my mind, my soul
2001-10-24 20:10:58 (UTC)

where was she?! i finally got a taste at what it feels like to
be alone at school. my boyfriend always tells me how he's
always lonely at felt as if no one cared.

i was happy. i knew that i wouldn't be in class all day
today and that i would be out sooner than usual. half day,
alright! but...

nutrition came.

i was looking forward to seeing my best friend. she never
showed up. so with no one to talk to, i walked alone to get
myself something to eat(i was so starving). i came back to
see if she would be there waiting for me. she still hadn't
showed up. where was she?! i was walking back, i saw
my so called friends standing there(i could tell that they
were planning on not even saying hi to me)talking to
eachother. i caught the attention of one of them, and as we
uncomfortably exchanged our hello's, i kept on walking by
towards the "church table". but they weren't there, instead
there were two guys who use people for their company. i ate
my doughnut and then headed on back towards my old friends.
the closer i got the lower their laughter became. then
there was silence when i went and stood next to them and i
said, "hey, you guys. what's up?" one of them
said "nothing" (this was the same girl who had said hi to
me). and that was it. no one talked while i was there, not
one word. it was akward to me and finally i grew annoyed by
the silence so i told my old friends that i was gonna get
going and the same girl said "okay", and as i turned to
walk away to head to class early i heard their new friends
start to whisper was about me.

i don't think that i ever felt so lonely in my entire