SScbsub

10.24.01

wow..I can't beleave its going to happen..my wish will soon
becoming true..but i'm faced with the two sided heads of
that wish..one side i am excited to finaly get what i have
wanted for soo long..a truely tough mistress..to have my
limits pushed..to live up to what i can do and to be held
accountable for it..the other side of that wish is that i'm
scared..will i get hurt..will i be disaponted that real
life will not hold up to what i have set forth in my
mind?? will my new tough mistress..go soft and wimpy on me
once we meet (which will be nov1-nov4)..will she fall in
love with me..and because of that want not to loose respect
for me?? this has accounted for most of the dom's that i
have started out with only to finnish them not pushing
me..i need to have the will of another impossed upon me..i
need to beheld accountable..i need to have an unwavering
standard..that i feel is the only way for me to live up to
what i have to offer this world..i hope this works..if it
doesn't then i will be out there again..looking..

now for a lil back ground..i am to be put into a chasity
belt (CB2000)..up until that time i am having limited
orgasms..this action is need'd because i masterbate 2-5x
daily..my new mistress is not very happy with this because
i don't have the displine not to..i wish that i did..i'm
worryed about going through the airport securty with my
cock padlocked..i'm sure it will set off the alarm..then i
will have to show..omg that will be too much..i hope that i
can make it through with out being put into a padded
room..i hope that i don't freak..well thats it for now..