J's Journal
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2001-10-24 04:13:40 (UTC)

It rained all day

All it did is rain all day today. Not just a slight
drizzle either. It was like pouring out for hours and
hours. I was stuck here by myself all day cause my mom had
to go spend the whole day with my sister at her house so
she wont get jealous. How stupid is that?? She is 17, and
got married when she got pregnant. She lives on her own
now but still expects my parents to treat her like she is
still at home. If we go to the store or something, she
literally whines if she doesnt get anything. It is so
insane. She gets jealous all the time cause she thinks my
mom spends more time with me, but it's only natural that
she would cause I still live at home. Plus, now that I am
pregnant she is so jealous it's not even funny. She thinks
my mom spends to much time talking to me now, or that she
isn't going to pay attention to my nephew anymore now that
there is going to be a new baby. Actually, I dont really
know about that cause I started bleeding again for some
reason. I dont know what is going on now because the
ultrasound they did said everything was looking really
good, and it all was supposed to be going like normal. I
did stop bleeding for like four days, but then it started
again so I dont know. I'm still really not sure how I
feel about everything yet, and I am for sure not going to
get all excited when I could loose it.
Anyways, I am supposed to call Kevin in like an hour.
Hopefully my phone card still has the five hours it's
supposed to have on it. I swear those things get you for
more than they are worth. But I have to have them so I
dont end up oweing my parents 500 dollars or something. I
know I could just talk to him on here, but neither one of
us wants to do that. It's just not the same. I have to
hear his voice or I miss him so much. Last night we talked
about being together for the holidays with his family. He
was talking about me being there with his mom and talking
to his grandma and stuff. It was so great to hear that he
thinks about that stuff too. He even asked me if I ever
though about us being together in reality, and I told him I
did everyday. Then he said I knew that was a stupid
question, and that he wanted to talk more about it
tonight. I sent him some homemade cookies in the mail and
he got them yesterday. He said they were so good, and he
had already ate them all when I talked to him. His mom
even said she couldn't make cookies as good as that. He
also told me that he isn't going away for the six days that
he was going to. He will be back on saturday now. I
started to say I was sorry and then he said don't cause he
would think I didn't care, which I really do. His mom is
throwing a party at there house and she wants him to serve
drinks, that's why he has to come home early. It's prolly
one of those suit and evening gown parties. I would love
to be there. Kevin said he wishes I could be too. His
best friend Casey talks to me alot too. He will be in St.L
for a Rams game in November with his dad, so I might go
meet him. I figure it's like being one step closer to
Kevin in a far off kind of way. I just wish he would come
with Casey but he says that he can't. He needs to get his
ass up here and soon. J

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