the one who got away

lost somewhere inside of me
2001-10-23 21:20:41 (UTC)

scared, confused, i hate emotion sometimes

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never
even met? Do you wonder if the one you want is the one who
wants you back? What if you never find true love because
you pass them by without a second thought.

I tell everyone else who worries so much about these things
to just take life a day at a timesometimes i wonder why i
dont listen to myself there are so many times that i think
that ill die before all my wonderful dreams come true.
what if i dont get into med-school?
what if i never get married?
i want to have children so badly but yet i am still a child
myself and i dont want to grow up
life is moving by so fast.
i am scared everyday that mom and dad are just going to
leave me behind
then what makes it even harder is that dad keeps having all
these surgeries...it started out as just a simple kidney
stone that he was having trouble passing and now they are
almost positive that he might have colon cancer
there are too many days that we agrue over nothing
what happens when we end up in the middle of an argument
and i dont get to swallow my pride and aplogize
if that day ever came i dont know what i would do but i
hate that he cant admit that he is wrong
why di i always have to be the bigger person
why cant he understand that he is wrong sometimes
things are getting better though he is trying to change
i respect him so much for that
im just gonna take a deep breath and dive right in. life is
becoming too short to miss anything

****love yourself*****

~kells