eidolon

the first ...

... i have a confession to make .... something that eats away at me
inside that i have to get out .. not because it can be changed ...
because i already know that it is too late ... that my penance in
this issue is the regret i shall carry with me ... the only regret,
true regret, that i have yet to accumulate in your presence ....

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
Isn't it ironic... don't you think

.. i mean .. yes ... i regret we can't spend more time together ... i
regret that i do not live further north ... but these are not things
under my own control ... they don't count .... true regret stems from
making a choice ... a choice where your hand is not forced .... true
regret cannot be formed by doing things because you have no choice in
the matter ...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

... every day i think upon this choice i made ... everyday i wish i
had made the other ... and i hate that because of it i lost my
chance ... granted, i might have lost that chance from the
beginning .. but ... i still feel .. i still wish that i'd taken the
other choice ...

... so i must confess ... i need to lift this weight off of my
heart ... i need to tell you even though i know there's nothing that
can be done about changing it now ....

Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well, isn't this nice."
And Isn't this ironic ... don't you think?

... i wish i'd said yes to going to Ontario with you for
Christmas .... i hate that i can't go and that it is all my fault
because i was chickenshit and because i was worried about you
spending the money .... money that seems to not be the kind of
stressful issue for you that it is for me .... i wish i hadn't been
so scared of disappointing my mother ... i wish i'd not been so
scared of meeting your family ... so scared of the unfamiliar and
new ... so scared at that time that you would change your mind about
me before Christmas ever came about and be angry that you'd bought
the tickets ...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

... i rue the day i said "no" with a heavy heart ... i wish that i'd
said YES ... i wish i could still say yes ... i wish i was going with
you and i hate that i'm not ... that i can't because of the cost of
flights ... the raise in costs as it gets closer and closer to the
holidays ...

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
and then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

... i think about this every day with great remorse .... and i wish i
could recant my decision ...

... i'm sorry .... so very sorry Jeremy ...

A little too ironic.. and yeah i really do think...

... i love you so much ... and i know that there's nothing that you
can do about this now .... but i just wanted you to know ...

Lyrics courtesy of the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette