bluff before i

my life, my world, my mind, my soul
2001-10-22 18:11:38 (UTC)

i'll never forget it...

i'm here at school right now and i didn't know that our
computers can access this stuff which is weird...i have had
a lot on my mind lately but i spent a lot of time on the
phone with my boyfriend lastnight and i feel much better.
he's really a great friend and i'm glad that i can talk to
him.

the stuff that was on my mind last night really isn't a
burrden for me any more and my mind is more clear than
before. i'm not sure what to say today since i feel great.
and i also forgot what i was talking about last night when
i tried writing in here.

the only thing that i can say is bugging me right now is
the fact that i'm failing in school. it's hard for me right
now and it seems to me like i always get off at a bad
start.

today at nutrition i found that girl that i thought that i
should appologize to and i did. i tapped her on the
shoulder just like she did me and i appologized. then i
told her that i agreed about the book and i even told her
what my favorite part was. she agreed with me about that
part of the book and said thank you for appologizing. it
felt good. she was nice.

on friday i was so anxious to get out of class because i
knew that i was going to get the chance to see my boyfriend
again for the first time in a while. i wanted to leave. i
waited six days to see him and i wanted out, for class to
be over. i missed him a lot. he got here and i didn't think
that he sounded so happy to see me but i don't
know...anyways he was there with me and we just talked. i
had 45 minutes alone with him and it was worth it. i had
band pictures that day and me, him, and my best friend, who
he met for the first time that day, were supposed to go to
the movies but i had to do band pictures before i left. i
had no idea that it would take as long as it did. first the
full band pictures then buddy pictures, and another buddy
picture, and then my individual picture, and yet another
buddy picture, and then finally the section picture. it was
so annoying. finally i was done and out of there. i cried
for the weirdest reason and then cooled off. then we took
off for the movies. our movie didn't start until an hour
later so we went to my favorite hangout. my boyfriend
bought a shirt that looked really good on him. by this time
i still hadn't kissed him. i was satisfied just being
friends with him that day(i found out a little later that
he was bugged by it). we ate. we still hadn't kissed. we
went to the movie and finally i gave in. it felt good. i
missed him so much.

i forgot to mention...while i was waiting to take pictures
i saw him sitting there with my friends. he was looking
around. and he looked at me. and the look in his eyes when
he looked at me...it was so weird, it's hard to explain. i
learned something about him that day, friday the
nineteenth, and i'll never forget it.


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