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2001-10-22 15:31:52 (UTC)


.....Homecoming was this weekend.. It was ok... Ross was
there and looked REALLY GOOD!!! I was really shocked. Um..
I don't know what's up with him and A.S but I don't want
them to be toghether it
s not her and Ross ot's her.. but what can I do we're not
together and he doesn't like me and I'm over that.. I spent
the weekend at Amanda's and It was ok we spent all day
eating and talking about Amanda and Gary you know..
I'm grounded for being at Amanda's all day and not
calling my mom..even though I did She called me a liar and
that made really upset you know beacuse I don't lie to my
mom I won't and to think that she would call me a liar made
me mad..She doesn't trust me and I don't know why. I wish
that she would I don't know why she doesn't it really
upsets me.
OK I was talking to April the other night and I was
talking to her about James and she thinks that I try to go
for guys who aren't worth it, Like she thinks that I go for
guys ..James and Ross particularly(SP) that are less than
up to my standards she thinks I'm better than the both of
them... I don't know what to think, I know that I don't
know james and Ross very well but I know them you know and
I see what kind of people they are and I dig them and all
I have a big self esteem issue.. I have none! and
thats a big problem because I was thinking and April agrees
that even if james liked me I would wonder why he wanted to
go out with me all the time and April told me that I can't
be with anyone until I start to think of myself higher
thanI do now.. But I can't and I don't know how.. I don't
know if I can. I don't know how I got this way..I NEED