VAMYR GUARDIAN ANGEL

Shadow
2001-10-22 11:05:25 (UTC)

GOODBYE: ANOTHER CHAPTER OF MY LIFE

I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT AGAIN. NOT BECAUSE OF THE
NIGHTMARES, LIKE USUAL, BUT TO SHED MY LAST TEARS FOR
DIANE. I AM THROUGH WITH FEELING BAD BECAUSE OF SOMEONE
ELSE'S GUILT FOR THEIR SINS. YES, I LOVED HER BLINDLY, BUT
THAT WAS NOT THE RIGHT KIND OF BLIND LOVE. I WAS BLIND
BECAUSE I ONLY THOUGHT OF WHAT WOULD PLEASE HER NO MATTER
IF SHE HURT ME OR DIDN'T DESERVE IT. I IGNORED MY
SUFFERING, SHOVED IT ALL DOWN INSIDE AND DIDN'T ALLOW
MYSELF TO THINK ABOUT IT. BUT NOW THE CURTAINS HAVE RAISED
FROM MY EYES AND I KNOW THE TRUTH. I'M KICKING MYSELF IN
THE ASS FOR NOT SEEING IT WHILE IT HAPPENED, BUT THAT'S THE
WAY THINGS USUALLY HAPPEN, HUH?
TODAY, I TURN MY HEART OFF WHILE IT BLEEDS THE LAST
DROPS OF PAIN THAT SHE CAUSED AWAY SO I CAN REBUILD MYSELF.
I CAN'T DESCRIBE HOW OR EVEN WHEN, BUT I THINK I ALREADY
LOVE ANOTHER. I'VE SAID THOSE THREE WORDS TO HER BEFORE,
BUT I WONDER WHAT SHE THOUGHT AS I SPOKE THEM. SHE HASN'T
SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT YET. THAT'S OKAY, THOUGH. I'M NOT IN
A HURRY. I WANT TO TAKE THINGS SLOW ANDLET THEM OCCUR ON
THREIR OWN TIMELINE. I FIND THAT THAT'S THE BEST.
TIME IS SHORT ONCE AGAIN, SO BYE FOR NOW.


-SHADOW