Alright this is the prelude to one of my 2 best days (so
technically it goes together) but then again this reaches
way too far back so i'm gonna shut up and just say this.
Me, Emily, and Melissa in the car. The sky cloudy and
stormy, flying down the highway at 160 mph, muttering the
sweet summations of the day. I'm sure you've done this
before. You know you've had so much fun, that all you can
do is sit back and whisper the highlights to each other
and no one really retorts because you know exactly what
they mean. The words simply swim out of your mouth and
ride along the waves of aknowledgement until they are
gently blown away by the next nostalgic proclamation.
By the time we make it to the 64 ramp, melissa has fallen
asleep out of utter exhaustion. We had lost her at KD and
almost not found her. I ask emily where to turn off to get
to her house and she tells me 64 west. well that leads us
about 20 miles out of the way, and i don't realize it until
15 miles. i notice that the next rest station wont' be for
70 miles so we pull of at the upcoming one. melissa wakes
up to our talk of misdirections, and whose fault it is. i
indicate that there is a map at the rest station and before
i coudl hinder them the two had jumped out and looked at
it. it seemed that every perveted truck driver (lord knows
they all are, because i know every single one of them),
happened to stop there, and advanced on my friends. i
quickly ushered them back into the car and sped off as one
of the truckers made a lunging grab with his hooves.
again we're on the road and find the next exit. it leads
to oilville and there we encoutner the prince of darkness.
satan was chilling at a gas station and was getting some
sno-balls he tried to kill us but we hit him with a tire
iron and threw him in the back. with his carcass we rush
down the highway, in hopes of getting out of hell and back
to the outskirts of heaven. with hotel california playing
in the backgroudn i call the popular radio station and ask
for directions, they just laugh and tell me to go to hell.
as i tell them that i just came from there they ask me for
a request, and naturally i go with the corny one and get
the squirrel nut zippers.
we then finally make it back. weeping with joy we stumble
into ukrops (a grocery store) and melissa and emily play
with the cantalopes as i take pictures. melissa gets a
mountain dew and the insanity begins. we speak as quickly
as possible, and we yell into the phone as emily calls her
b/f. we go to visit him, and just frighten him with our
maniacal laughter, and talk of satanism. i drop the tow
of them off safely in their house. yet i still had the
prince of darkness in my trunk.
i decide to give him the rest of the mountain dew, and
watch as he turns into a guinea pig. he asks me to stop by
taco bell and i can't deny his request. he eats 5 burritos
and a beef meximelt. then he laughs......his big incisors
menacingly mocking me. i cringe away from the wheel and he
takes over. we fly down west broad street fighting for
control. he sinks his teeth into my hand, and i pull his
ear. the rabid rodent attaching itself to my limbs as i
screech along with the wheels of my car. frightened as all
hell i grab altoids from the back, and stuff some down his
gaping throat, i follow this by forcing him to drink a
whole can of surge. he throws himself back and begins to
shriek. his furry bulk pushing up against the window. he
opens the door and goes scampering out, where he is
squashed to bits by a truck carrying alfalfa.....how's that
so that's the prelude. or the prelude that has another
prelude. or lets just say that the lsat month and a half of
10th grade rocked my fucking world.