drinkingmercury

lack of iron and/or sleeping
2001-10-21 22:57:40 (UTC)

02.

23/09/01
i wish people would just admit when they're lying, instead
of "playing dumb". i think it's kind of sad that people lie
for sympathy or attention anyways.
i think it's sad how people can suddenly decide you're "not
worthy" of their time.

i think it's sad that people are so homophobic.
an excerpt from an msn conversation:


COME ON DOWN! says:
that pic gives me jokes, long hair with a bum fluff goatee
ha ha ha

i am the dinnerwhõre says:
i do not have a fucking goatee.

COME ON DOWN! says:
YOU USED TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND?

i am the dinnerwhõre says:
yes.

COME ON DOWN! says:
WHATS WRONG WITH THAT GIRL! SHE'S BANGING A HOMO!

COME ON DOWN! says:
YOU SUCK DICK! SICK!

i am the dinnerwhõre says:
lol. no. i do not suck dick.

COME ON DOWN! says:
YOU GOT A KID AND YOU SUCK SICK!

COME ON DOWN! says:
OH SHIT! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU! HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO YOUR
KID?
I WANT TO ASK HER WHY SHE WANTS TO FUCK A COCKSUCKING HOMO?
GIRL SHOUDL GET SOME AIDS TEST
I SHOULD COME DOWN AND SLIT YOUR COCKSUCKING THROAT


24/09/01
the guy on nirvana's in utero album is fricking
sexy. ::sighs::


25/09/01
"does it still hurt?"

"yes"

"where abouts?"

"give me your hand and i'll show you"

"okay"

"right here"

"there??"

"yes"

"do you want me to rub it better?"

"yes please"

i am not "hard done by". but i feel like i am...
i'm moving out after christmas.
i'm going to feel...trapped i suppose. my life is already
over.
i will be TWENTY in seven months. and i will be twenty,
with two children. and possibly a wife. that is not right.
that is just...wrong. i will have a family. uh. i have a
family already.
and that means i have to be responsible. that means i will
have no life.
or less of a life than i have now.


27/09/01
i have a crush on this really really pretty guy at college,
and it's bordering on obsession, i need help. i don't even
know his fricking name. but he's so beautiful. really
really pretty.

emy has bought us tickets to see "slipknot" in november
[*bwahahah* in flames is the reason i'm going...] and
tickets to see machine head in december. which is all ghud.


28/09/01
i am officially happy.
[i miss the comfort in being sad...]

today sucked at first though, cuz i went to college and
felt really ill, so i came home, and spent some "quality
time" with emy and my lurvely daughter, i'm sure emy's
stomach is...changing. or maybe i'm just imagining it.
damnit. anyways, i'm..."looking forward"...to being a
father again. i think. i just hope everything turns out
okay...that the baby is "normal". hmm. emy will be going
for one of those scans in a couple of weeks. i can't wait.

[] later on i phoned up morgan and co., so we could get
stuff sorted out with the band. practised for a couple of
hours, and we sound tighter everytime we practise, i swear.
lee has managed to learn "the blazing monoliths of
defiance" by dimmu borgir and it sounds fucking INCREDIBLE.
um...phat props to lee for being a wicked drummer, or
summat. i think we might need a keyboard player,
for "ambience" and stuff, sadly.

then after all that we went to the "park" and played
football ::dies:: i feel so shitty now, i think i'm going
to...have an asthma attack or something. and i don't even
have asthma.
violet went on a baby-swing, and she got so...over excited
or something, she threw up, it was...funny. really.
then chris, morgan, gareth & lee pissed off [coming back
later tonight...] so i went bmxing in the woods near my
house, i think i've "damaged" my knee cap. it fucking
kills. damn bar spins.

and then i got the phone call off my parents. they're
buying a house in devon [how did they get the money, hmm?].
yes, the place where fudge is from. ah ha. a house, in
fudge land. yeah, and they're moving down there, so me and
emy are renting this house [3 bedrooms] off them, which is
pretty fricking ghud.
my brother had the choice of staying here with us, or going
to devon, and he's chosen to stay here. which is cool, cuz
he rocks. but he'll visit muh parents every week-end or
summat i expect. uhhh and i can have parties and stuff and
i won't have to hide my bongs any more. i am free. almost.
gah. but i feel like i have two kids now. damn me. and i'm
going to have to...go shopping and stuff. but it will all
be very good...if i can cope.

emy wants us to get married..."soon", which fucking sucks
goat cocks. i mean, just because people get engaged it
doesn't mean the HAVE to get married right away.
i am not getting married to anyone in the eyes of "a god
that doesn't exist" and emy wants a MASSIVE "church
wedding" ordeal.
and i'd look like a right fucking retard in a suit. i mean,
can you imagine it. *bwahahah* i'd look like such a fucking
assmoncher. ah ha. yeah. and i could have erin as my "best
man", that would be so funny, it could be broadcast on a
jerry springer special.


system of a downs new album has grown on me. it rawks.


29/09/01
why do people always come out to me.??????? i don't care
whether youlike taking it up the ass. i don't wANT to know
your fux0ring sexual orienttion. do you mastubate oevr ghey
porn like erin did?