Pink Flowers

Pink Flowers
2001-10-21 22:08:21 (UTC)

Confused!

I was just looking at some old poctures of me and I
began to get sad......or maybe I was actually proud of who
I used to be. I used to be such a promising person......yet I
thought of myself as very average. Now I understand that I was
actually someone whose life was important. I was so good at tennis
and I was such a simple minded person. But, above all I was happy.
I don't know what happened but somewhere along the way something
changed about me and it was definately a change for the worse! I
really need to concentrate on my school work.....that is the main
thing in life that Ienjoy....as strange as that sounds. The only
thing at school that I really detest is having to write an essay! I
absolutely can't stand it! I honestly try but when asked to write a
five paragraph story about something that happened at a football
game, my mind just goes bland and I begin to panic! It is an awful
feeling....almost as bad as being rejected by someone who used to
date Lindsey Cornell......ahhhhhh....I still can't believe that he
honestly thinks that she is better than me! That is just crazy!
Well I only have one main thing going for me in my life and that is
my grades. Even then, that does not say much about me bacause I am
not very smart. But, for some reason school work does not bother
me. My only concern in life right now is to become as rich as I can
so that I will not have to be dependent upon anyone! I will be
completely independent and then nothing will matter.
Anyway I can't go on about my future anymore bacause it is
beginning to depress me.....instead I will think about what has
happened. Last night was so fun. I got completely drunk off my ass
and went with Holly and stole some wreath off of someones door it was
hysterical. Now it,s hanging in y room as a souviner. Anyway....we
all ended up staying over at Danny's and god he just wouldn't get off
me. I don't know what is up with that! I mean.....I know he would
be really nice to me but I am just not like him.....he is tooo.....I
don't know what he is but its just not what I'm looking for.