Joshin Jane

Passionfruit
2001-10-21 19:59:44 (UTC)

untitled

going to blair gave me four uninterupted hours of crying
time yesterday.
i cried about fighting with my parents.
i don't see what it is we said that you're upset about, my
mom said when i came home.
a free man blames no one, my dad said. it's not our fault
that you lost your match.
no, just that i cried about your being assholes for four
hours.
i've felt so empty the past few weeks and i've been trying
to fill the void - with crying, with smoking, with music,
with shopping, with writing.
i rest my eyes during class and flood my mind with memories
of being at matt's house and think about how that first day
was the happiest i've been in countless months.
if there's a chance that thanksgiving will be like that, i
can get through these next four weeks of shit.....




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