Kittys thoughts
2001-10-21 07:31:43 (UTC)

Lots of stuff has been going..

Lots of stuff has been going might leave "dad",if
she does then I will be moving down the hill,melssia called
me the the other day so did mike.I have been very depressed
lately.I cant stop thinking about everything that is going
on.On top of all that I have been having some rather
strange dreams.I dont care what Gabe says,they are more
than just dreams.The one that I had last night was one of
the worst,half the time I didnt know the dream from real
life,I had to sit up in bed and look around to make sure
that I was really awake,cuz I had woken up in my dream
thinking that I was really awake,then I find out that I was
still in my dream.I dont even want to go to sleep tonight.I
feel like something is going to happen.And its going to be
bad,I could be wrong and I hope that I am because I dont
need anything bad happening in my life.On to a different
subject....Well I dont think that I am going to AZ because
I think it is a time for him and Ron and whoever else is
going to be there,I wouldnt feel comfortable.I would like
to go so that I could meet his aunt and uncle,but oh well.I
prolly wont go to Fina's party either,I am to upset to do
anything,but i still might try to go.There is this one
thought that keeps going through my head,why can gabe look
at porn with no prob but he cant have sex with me? It makes
me think that he could be cheating on me but I know that he
wouldnt hurt me like that.I hate it when I dont know what
hes thinking.And I hate thinking about this subject because
I feel that it makes me different around him,I dont want to
be different around him.And I dont want to hurt him by
being different.My life is so messed up I just want to cry
all the time,but at least if I want to cry I can go to my
Baby,And I know that he will always be here for me :) I
love him so much and always will.I am really lucky that I
found him and that we are together.Well I have nothing more
to write but I will later.

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