a little piece of me
2001-10-21 04:06:49 (UTC)

slipping in and out of sanity

well, i talked to HIM today. he says even though i'm a
fucking psychopath, he's going to stay with me. how sweet,
eh? i tried to end things, and he said that's out of the
question. i'm not sure how i feel about that. right now,
i feel numb. that's my problem tonight! something has
been knawing at me, something is off...now i know what that
something is. i feel numb. all sorts of things running
through my head, but feeling nothing at all.
mmmmmmm....such peace from the turmoil. i guess to anyone
who might possibly be reading this (who the hell am i
kidding) i am not a teenager having some boy troubles,
upset cause my parents grounded or what have you. i'm a
fucked up twenty something, wasting her life away, feeling
much discontentment right now.

grrrr. want to scream, laugh, cry, sleep, run all at
once. i hate this. i really think i'm losing my mind.
i've chased all my friends away. i've become too much for
them to handle. hey, i can't help it that they're fucking
sheep, and i hate those kinds of people. i let them know
that every chance i get. doesn't help any :D

i really must rant a bit on this wonderful society of
ours. as i walk around campus, i literally feel sick to my
stomach. all the guys wear abercrombie shirts with those
stupid visors turned upside down and backwards. and the
girls, with their fucking capris and old navy bullshit.
really, they all try so hard to be just like each other.
and then there's me. and they call me a freak. just
because i don't feel the need to be accepted by and
approved of by everyone on this planet. why do they try so
hard to make me like them? that's why the friends had to
go. and why do people want to hurt me because i'm
different? if someone has an answer, please enlighten me.
alright, my boy is back, so i am off.