ShameusLawson

thought's of the day

alright well here we go this is the first time I've done
this so I think I'm gonna just freestyle this so here we go:

"All I know is what I know" and what I could possibly
learn but how can I learn if I refuse to pay attention?
And to pay attention almost always takes an act of god or
something. And how could god want me to pay attention?
and why should I be expected to pay attention or listen to
some boring crap that I will never use while I am alive in
this world. And to pay attention is something onl the
truly gifted can do no one truly always pays attention
there is always something that distracts you and be
confused about. And it seems to be so easy to confuse
people you can tell them your ok and you truly may be but
you act like your not they tell you, and you ask yourself
how do you know I mean you only know the me I let you see.
How can you possibly know what I am thinking and how I feel
I choose to hide myself from all of the hurt and annoing
feelings you seem to cause me....How can I say everything
will be ok when I'm not even sure I can say that for myself
one minute I'm fine and I know what is going on in my head
and the next I am confused and looking in the eyes of
destruction once again. I know I lost and I just have to
accept it and move and be the friends that I know we were
destined to be. Just know that I am not angry or bitter
anymore and if I seem that way it's only cause I still care
for you and I dont know what to do anymore. Even I get
confused sometimes and I dont know what to do. Even
mr. "Zen" master himself has stress. But what can I do
except grin and nod. but eventually everything will be
alright. And thanks to the help of a friend I have made a
realization "The Sun will rise once again" and the day
begins once again every 24 hrs. Aww an new day a chance to
start over and fix the mistakes you made the day before or
to make it even worse by opening your big mouth and
screwing something else up. But anyway this got horribly
terribly long but its the first of many. someone told me
it was a good idea for me to get it all out and I guess it
is, IF ONLY I KNEW WHAT I WANTED TO GET OUT. AHHHH
everything happend so fast and I dont know what to day, but
the sun will rise tomorrow and I can fix the mistakes I
made today

-Sam