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2001-10-21 02:09:56 (UTC)

im sittin here again... but i..

im sittin here again... but i dont know what exactly to
say. its there, but so much is goin on right now, i just
dont know where to start. i guess everything takes time,
and im just starting to sort things out in my life. but
yet, i still find myself hiding behind what i want to be,
rather than what i am. which scares me, because it makes me
wonder what people think of me. like truely think of me. i
dont really like who i am.... but i dont have enuff
committment in me to change that. the person i was wasnt
any better either.... but then it comes into my mind that
at least im not like that anymore. but i still have to live
with the consequences.
"everytime i take a shower
i think what a waste
what a waste
because even if i get clean
im never gonna be able to touch my own skin"

somtimes i wish i was perfect. in every way. i wish i could
spend my time doing 5 things at once, so i could meet
everything that is expected of me. i dont feel that i
measure up to what people think i am.... and it makes me
feel like im not good enuff. not for anybody. this could be
cuz my standards are very basic. honesty. humour. thats all
i need. but not everybody has my standards, and i guess i
just need to figure out whos expectations are really worth

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