MsKarma

i. am. a. tool.

so, i make this diary, today is day one, and entry two.. so
i go to look at my new enryt, the lst one, and i see alex
diary up... i know she had one, btu didnt; want to look you
knwo, because its alexs, and kelly and alex awlays showed
eachother to eachother,and shonee too,a nd i always felt
left out, just a tliitle, but figured that i wasn;t really
involved, and i was.. you knwo, so it idn't bug me,cause
htye have a thing, yoiu knwo? anyway, no th e point... so,
i see alexs diary,a nd i rmemebr kelyl tlakign about it,
but didn;t link me cause, i dontl knwo but it was ok, cau
sei figuered it wasn;t my place, so here my oputunity, you
knwo? here my chance,m and i feel guilty, but i do it
anyway, im osrry alex, if you see this and are mad, but i
donlt think you will be, i juts called you, you're in the
shower... im so sorry alex, i really am... i hope.. shit i
dontl kwn what i hope, i hope ... i hope it all works out,
i really do it tears me up, cause i can see , i mean i only
read liek half of this months entries, im going ot rea t
hem all fi you don;t mind, im glad youre feeling better,
and.. the whol ekelly thing, it really must suck... i dontl
knwo, im sad for you, and i don't ktnow that if i didnt'
kwn o you i owuld be sad, but i see the things line up, i
do,a nd it makes me sad, im sorry alex... and i want to..
youre great alex, you really are your a friend of mine, and
to me friend are invkalueable,... ive been trying to give
you your space cause i knwo you need it sometimes,a nd
ifgured you come back around, cause htats hwat you do... i
hope i did it right, it makes me sad to see you sad, and
reading that... i donlt knwo, i mean, i know.. see how well
i acrticulate when im... whatever i am... and im not even,
you are, tahst the thing... i jsut talked to alex,a nd i
eel like a fool.. im sitting here, stears runinng down my
face i dontl kwno why... i dont knwo hwy this hurts so
bad...it shoudlnt, i dont havbwy it does,but its terrible..
and im at my hosue, alomne, and im crying.... i had to go
get toilet paper and blow my nose and to get the tears in
theplaces you can't reach.... my sides hurt, they arekind
of numb, btu it hink its a good feeling, im not really
sure, maybe becaus eive ben sitting at the computer all
day... i have htings to do.. tehfeeling is spreading all
over, how fucking weird.. i hope this is something good...
moe importantly, i hoep its not somehting bad... so... i
odj;t knwo, im spent, thsi da has been too much i think...
and its only goign to be more, but hopefully, it will be
better... it will be... the sun rises everyday, and its
sets everyda, maybe its sunrise right now for me...