Infiniterocker

hello kitty cat
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2001-10-20 18:51:38 (UTC)

just another day??

So today is my birthday. Nothing special really seems to be
going on, which is cool I guess. Jason's going to take me
out to dinner. Jason and Sam....I'm so terrible. Sam cares
about me so much, and Jason is actually serious about me.
The thing is I still have feelings for Sam. I don't know
why or how. I thought they were gone. I think in my heart I
know that Jason is for me, not Sam..but I still just want
to be able to hold Sam and tell him everything is going to
be OK and not to be sad over me..because it's just me. I
don't deserve him. He's such a great person ..I don't know
what is the matter with me. Last night eveyone hung out,
and it was cool. I know this will all blow over..I'm just
so confused. But I have to admit..in the long-run..I see
myself with Jason. God...I just hope I don't loose
everything. I talked to my mother today..she knew how old I
was. haha. I'm awaiting the day she dies and I cry about
how I never forgave her. I'm a terrible person.


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