My Life.............
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2001-10-20 05:12:42 (UTC)

early sat. morning........really, really early.LOL

well, went to walmart, and to mcdonalds friday, i got to
see my best friend, she was in walmart to with her dad and
her son, hes so cute, my gosh did he get big..
of course i talked about Jeff all night, *sigh* why do i
do that? one minute i tell myself that he loves me, why
else would he message me and keep me on his aim all this
time? then another part tells me he is just trying to make
me miserable again, after all he doesnt talk to me anymore
since those 2 times last week, uuuggghhh! i wish i could
let go, im only hurting myself.:( something is making me
hold on, i should just delete his old emails and delete him
from my list, but, i cant, then it would be like he never
existed, maybe someday i can delete those things, but, not
now.:( god, i wish i could.... i prayed every night for him
to talk to me again, then he does and i regret ever asking
for it, i just wish that he would tell me the truth! im so
stupid! he already has, he doesnt love me, he said he never
did and never will, why do i torture myself??? i have to
stop this or im going to lose my mind!!!!!