~*Monster Kitty*~

~*Stumbling Through Life*~
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2001-10-19 22:15:31 (UTC)

Seriously, something is Wrong

I was pissed off and in being so, I acted horribly.
Let me explain.
Sara is making me insane. I am sincerely mad at her but
deftly afraid of another Jade-like situation.
Therefore, my soul is tugging two ways, driving me crazy.
When before, I could have reacted maturely and calmly, now
I can only gawk at the situation and say the first thing
that comes to mind. Which usually is an immature, retarted
insult which will only make things one thousand times
worse.
Fuck me for being so impressionable.

I dont know how I feel about Sara at the moment. I dont
know if I hate her, and Im not sure if I still really like
her. All I know is that I am handling the situation in the
worst way I possibly could.

So here I am, and I want to know "what the fuck do you
want?"
"I WANT SARA TO BE MY BEST FRIEND AGAIN!"
"God dammit you are being as retarted as her-YOU CANT HAVE
THAT!"
"Then I dont know!"
And here I am.

She has done so many things to hurt me and Im sure that I
dont trust her. And I probably never will. But I love being
there, in the middle of the fight, with Brittany ready to
go beat someone up, and frail little Liana, who's been
yelled at by Julia, and Margaret validating our story, and
me-providing the information which pisses everyone off in
the first place.
Yikes! What am I doing?! I am making everything SO MUCH
WORSE and I only want to stop! yet I cant stop-the cycle of
bitches just keeps going round and round.

what to do what to do. I am seriously going insane.
Something is wrong with me-I think I am getting too
stressed out.

And I dont know what to do


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