steveclark

To be or not to be....

Is it love, lust or just indigestion? You see that special
girl halfway down the corridor, as you stand at your
locker. Does she see you? You don't know, but that was a
glance wasn't it? Maybe. A very sly quick glanc. Of course
maybe she was looking down to her friend, Christa who is
standing right behind you, but there's a chance, a very
slim chance it was you she was gazing at. She's approaching
you, coming closer and closer. Is you going to ask you to
take her to Mountain Ridge? You think of pushing her long,
silky blonde hair behind her ears as you lean forward and
kiss her. This is it, she's nearly level with you. You take
a deep breath and prepare to say 'Yes I will' when suddenly
she emits the words that will haunt you forever...'Hey
Christa'. You was so sure and yet there goes your special
girl, walking down the corridor talking animatedly about no
doubt, incredibly interesting things. You feel hurt, you
feel heart broken, you look up and see another special girl
walking down the corridor. Could she be coming to ask you
to take her to Mountain Ridge?
You haven't seen what he looks like, it's a chat room after
all and he doesn't have a digital camera but you know he
must be hot. Someone as charming as him can't be lying when
they tell you he's 6'2" with wavy, blonde hair and a six
pack. He seems so sincere, so he can't be lying, right? You
come online for the next two months and talk to him. You've
been falling for him ever since he told you it was 8", he
was single and always liked girls from your town. He seems
perfect. He's got a great sense of humor, he's smart and is
real cute, well, from what you know of him. Any guy with a
name like Troy Phoenix has to be cool and sexy. Then you
say the immortal words. 'I love you' and wait to see the
words appear on the screen from him. There they are, it
took 26 seconds for him to say it back but it's on your
screen. Troy Phoenix loves you. You can't stop thinking
about him, about the future you could have with him, the
good times, the children you plan to have one day and the
white wedding. Sure you never had a serious boyfriend in
high school, but this could happen. He's only a few states
away so yes, it really could happen, and that's final. You
ignore your mom's supposedly witty comment about not
knowing what love is. I mean, you know, you love Troy
Phoenix from Washington. You can almost imagine him holding
you tightly as his leather jacket creaks. You can imagine
it all. 'Surprise' he says one day as you're in a private
room. 'I got a digital camera' he types, excitedly. He
sends you a picture. As you wait for it to open you picture
his deep, brooding eyes and handsome good looks. Then you
gag. The glasses, you didn't expect the glasses. The thin,
pale face, you didn't imagine that. The zits, there was no
way you saw that coming. You disconnect with a swift click
of a button. Troy wasn't really the guy for you anyway, was
he? No of course not. And he lived so far away. You sigh
and sit back on your bed. 'Maybe I should ask Vince out'
you muse quietly.
You'd known her all your life. Ever since you could
remember she had been next door. She was beautiful and she
was funny and yep, ever since you wanted to date girls you
wanted to date her. It was a match made in heaven. You was
intimate and there were no inhibitions. There was trust and
chemistry and everything that was needed to make the
perfect romance. She only had eyes for you and you only had
eyes for her. There was no fumbling in the movie theater as
you tried to place your nad on her breast because you knew
what to do, you knew what she liked. You meant the world to
her. You was in love. You decided marriage is the next
step. Sure, you may only be a junior at school still but
you knew you wanted to marry her. Of course you'd have to
wait until you was old enough to do it but you would. You
had your heart set on it from day one, well, year 17
actually, but whos counting? When you're with her every
minute seems like a second and when you're not with her
every second seems like a minute. It was a love that was
true, wasn't it? You never wanted more from the
relationship and neither did she. You knew that this would
be a happy life, spent together with a family and a future.
It was true love, right?
The interesting about love is how do we know when it's hit
us? People say that when they fell in love they knew it was
love, but my friend thought he was in love and yet it was
merely lust, with nothing but a physical attraction. A
sexual side only. Which of the above stories defines love,
in your opinion? Most would say the last one. But surely
they all have an element of love. That's what lust is,
isn't it? A love for something you can't have. Love is a
curious thing. It was Huey Lewis who sang, 'The power of
love is a curious thing. Make a one man weep, make another
man sing'. It's true, love can do funny things to us. It
can make us over-joyed or a complete wreck. Make us smile
or make us cry. But like the song 'Any Way You Want It'
says, 'I never knew what good love could do'. Love is good.
It doesn't matter what kind of love, it helps us mature as human
beings. On that delightfully prolific and philosophical note I just
have one thing to say. I love you Becky

Steve
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