reirei

in my own words...
2001-10-19 21:12:05 (UTC)

First day of writing!!! October 19, 2001

So this is my first day of writing in this thing, whatever
it is. I know I need to write, so this is where I am going
to start. After successfully finishing high school, I am
now attending college at SUNY Geneseo. I realize now that
college is not just a continuation of high school. It is
much more difficult. My first realization, the first punch
to the stomach, was when I did not study adequately for a
Biology exam and received a 40. A 40. This was just like
high school. Had I not promised myself that I would not
make the same mistakes of high school? That I would study.
Yet, things hav not seemed to change. It is getting worse,
in fact. I am writing papers the day they are due. Studying
for tests on the morning they are given. Missing classes to
write papers. I am utterly ashamed of myself.
Procrastination has become an addiction I cannot seem to
overcome.
I had wanted to write everyday, a beginning of a play, a
novel, a short story. But what has come out of that?
Nothing. The only worthwhile thing I have achieved since I
have come to college is "Buried Child". I always wanted to
be in a "real" play so now that dream in achieved. But also
that I procrastinated. I could have done much better, had I
gone to my room and practiced my lines a little more. If I
had read the notes that were given to me. Why can I not
finish a simple task to its end? I have little to no will
at all. Pathetic.
From now on, I will write all my papers at the library. I
will not write in my room. I will do my work at the
library, because it seems that is the only place where I
can actually truly concentrate.
Tomorrow I am waking up early to help with the tech crew
for the Counting Crows concert on campus. I am thinking it
would be a nice experience. I am excited because I have
never been to a rock concert! I know it will be so much
fun! I can't wait!