Mohawk Grrls Life
2001-10-19 14:30:40 (UTC)

Subjects suck...

Well, I am bored in my Visual Arts class... We have a
substitute and I haven't a clue what we are doing. Erin is
being a bitch. She gets pissed about anything and
everything. She got pissed at me because I didn't have
my cd player with me. Why the hell would she care?
The only reason why she talks to me is when she
wants to use my cd player. Hadley just walked by me a
rubbed my head... She must think I am budda or
something. "rub my head for good luck!" Oh well, I am
so used to it now because random people always
come up to me and do that. hmmm, on Monday I have
to switch to the drawing room. Gah, I suck at drawing
still life crap. I want to stay in the computer room!

I have to go to my grandmas tomarrow. I really don't
want to go. My whole family is going to be there and I
am just going to have to put up with all of their shit. My
aunt carol better not make any snide remarks on my
hair. She has already said enough. She said
something like girls with mohawks being dykes and for
me to grow my hair out. Well, I know what SHE did
when she was my age. This is just hair, it can always
grow back. But she will never get the brain cells back
that she lost when she did pot. I used to think my aunt
was really cool when I was little. She used to spend
lots of time with me. She used to be really fun to be
around. Now she is dull and too serious. Maybe it's just
because she is getting old. Hopefully I don't get like
that... even though I probably am kind of dull since I
lead such a boring life... But it's not my fault that my
parents take away almost everything that I love to do.
(including a drumset....)

When I lived in Holly Michigan everything was perfect. I
had friends... best friends, and I wasn't an anti-social.
My family got along great. We had an awsome house.
Damn I miss that house. I even miss the ugly green
carpeting that was in my room. I remember every little
detail in that house. I remember when my parents used
to get along, and my mom wasn't so unhealthy. But
behind all of this happyness were the family secrets
that I didn't know about. Ever since I moved here and
my sister told me what went on behind my back (my
dad hitting/ verbally abusing my mom, my dads alcohol
problem...) My life with my family has pretty much been
a living hell. My moms eating disorder is so bad that if she
doesn't start taking care of herself, her life could all the sudden
become much shorter. My parents keep me in the house
constantly... they only let me out on fridays. I'm sure that
they are just making up their stupid excuses to keep
me inside. They have lied about everything else. What
do they think I am? A psycho path that if let out of the
house, is going to kill a bunch of people at random? A
mentally ill 5 year old? Thats what they make me feel
like. If I am such an embarrasment to them then they
shouldn't have even had me in the first place. But I
shouldn't say that because when I turn 18 things might
start looking up for me... Unless I can't find anyone to
move in with. Until then all of my good memories are
stuck in Holly Michigan.

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