Diary of a dope fiend.....
2001-10-19 09:13:38 (UTC)

Happily ever after? ..... or no

{A New Found Glory- Glory of love}

Yeah well.. this is my first enrty on an online journal
thing. i'll prolly do alot of bitching and
complaining...cause thats what im known for.
OK well to start it off Me and my bf at the moment are
drifting apart...and i dont know what to do. I'd talk to
him if i ever had a chance to, hes never on, he doesnt call,
when he IS on... he doenst talk to me, he leaves without a
fuckin word not even BYE. And of corse there is someone
else in the way.. my VERY gay "friend", who likes my bf
(whosbi)i just uGH! i feel like im loosing him... Whats
wrong with me?!? why cant i keep a guy. We've been together
for almost 5 months now...and have known each other for 7
1/2 yrs so hes like my best friend too.. ok ok i know this
doesnt make much sense to some people but it does in my
head! HEs changed so much since hes been talkin to my gay
"friend"... hes become more pissy, gotten an adittude with
me lately...he isnt the guy i met at all.. hes gotten more
into his drugs... like he cares about them more than me..
he says hes been busy, come on.. too busy to tell me hey
and that your ok. to busy to say bye when you leave. Fuck!
i miss him i miss the way we were. everyones tellin me i
should just get rid of him...maybe we just werent ment to
be..all that crap you know the stuff your friends say blah
blah. And then theres my recent Ex who is still in love
with me..and i'll admit i still have feelings left for him.
but i love my bf (im not saying names on here)more than
anything..with all my heart and soul.. he knows i'd do
anything for him if he asked. He says he loves me but im
not so sure anymore. *lights cancer stick* i've been
smoking alot lately..Fuckin stress its a killer *batty
voice* hehe i love that lil bat.. hes so cute.. ok gotten
of the subject alittle here. this song...aah im addicted

"Tonight it's very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I will never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't want to lose you
I could never make it alone"

If you ever get the chance.. anyone whos reading this.. DL
that song " a new found glory-glory of love"

ahh now the cure *sighs* memories... ok anyways i've gotten
so far off thesubject i'll just continue in another entry
cause i'm getting to the point where im about to pass out
from exaaustion....crying wears you out. Ima go to bed