2001-10-19 07:44:03 (UTC)

somethings stirring

Since the year of the dragon I had these stirring
feelings that something major was going to change my life.
The year had past and still these feelings were growing
in me. A number of occurences made me believe that this/that
or he/she was the event I had been awaiting. I found
myself in almost every possible situation I thought I would
'never' have to encounter.

Those experiences made me somewhat numb.
I kept telling myself 'something more is going to happen.'
Each time I thought 'this was it.'
Afer September 11th, how could anything possibly compare?
Apparently this was what my heart had sunk to.

I had given up on life's magic, not completely though.
I like to think of myself as hopeful,
on the brighter side of things. I chose instead to change
my focus.

In a previous entry a few weeks ago I wrote of THE ONE.
My thoughts are steadfast. He is.
And I am soooo utterly happy and all that mush!
I thought I would never meet him.
And although he is this brand new person in my life
that my girl friend introduced me to(I had to add that in),
it's as if he's been HERE in my life all along.
Like he magically is everything I've longed for!

I really, really, really, really, really, really care about him.
I love him actually. My girl friend insisted that I
take a chance on him. That he's the one for me right now.
Little did she know I would be chanting 'HE IS THE ONE' only
days later. Even then she didn't understand.

I never thought that kind of fairytale love existed, atleast
not for me. Now it's in the making and I have so much more
to look forward to. I love him and how he's slowed my world down
just a bit. I'm thankful for all those relationships
that just never seemed to work out, even for the pain.
Those were the ones that truly taught me.
Sometimes trying is not enough.
Sometimes fate really takes part. I really believe that
now more than ever.