eidolon

shifting mists
2001-10-19 05:36:39 (UTC)

does anyone hear me?

... sometimes i wonder ...

... am i as much of a ghost here as i am in reality? ... sometimes i
think that my invisibility consumes everything i do ... everything i
touch ..

... this was a conversation Russ and i had a few months ago in icq:


ME: ... i go in public a LOT these days ... most people just look
right through me ... it's not just in my head ... i KNOW it's
not ...

RUSS: it's cuz you tend to hug the shadows...

ME: there aren't shadows in real life

RUSS: yes... there are.... mental more than physical .... you
just... sorta hide yourself... you fade into the
background.... like a chameleon

ME: .. still doesn't make sense how like you ... or Jeremy ..
noticed me though ... ya know? .... what is it that you see
that the other people don't?

RUSS: we both met you online, where your a little easier to see....
you came to me in a moment of boldness.... remember?

ME: in other words .. i make friends and catch notice when i "slip
up" occasionally - which is why i 'm not totally alone ...

RUSS: *BING*


.. so ... am i invisible? .... or are you reading? ... did you make
it this far? ... *soft smile* ... or is my voice, my words, echoing
in the darkness once again? ... but perhaps i'm wrong ... perhaps i
am not invisible ... just perhaps ...

... and if i AM wrong ... who are you? ...