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2001-03-10 07:41:59 (UTC)

all i ever feel is pain. my..

all i ever feel is pain. my heart is broken as i am
constantly pushed away. how can i ever be happy? why do you
always push me. why must you let me go? i cry and you never
see it in silence in my room in my head i feel this but you
do not listen or see or hear. why must you do this to me.
have you fallen out of love with me. why? i love you so
much and all you do is lay around like i dont exist please
o please what will i do without you. the tears cover my
face fall down down down my chest covering my soul. my
heart. o please stop hurting me. i can not stop crying. why
is it when i try my best you always see my worst. or when i
want to be around you you forget to call. please i love you
so much and i once thought you felt the same way but i dont
understand anymore. it seems as tho silenty you are letting
go. why? i love you. please what will i do without you. my
friend. my companion. please dont leave me. where will i go
without you. please please. why must you always kick me
down. why must you let me fall and stay on my knees begging
for you to listen. you wont even lend me an ear. all i can
get out of you is a sleeping body. no listening. no
shoulder. just a limber body who can not seem to listen or
stay awake for more then a second. you always are
preoccupied with others. all you care about it seems is
graff and sleep. i guess i will just figure out what you
are saying and stay down. tho my heart is aching and i wish
i can let go i feel as though you have taken a part of me
and i will never be whole again. please help me. at least
push me in the right direction. if i cant be with you at
least let me know that is what you wish for. because i dont
know what i can bear anymore. i love you so. but how can i
live a life where all i do is cry.. and let my heart ache
as i realize you do not love me anymore.

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