angryanymore

the root of all evil

dammit to hell... ok... so this is just a little later
on... but you have to hear this...

... ok... lets rewind... to before kolby... bob... ...
well... bob... and i have always kept in touch... i went to
kolby though... and and he went to jess... well now... ...
he's putting on the moves... and its not exactly like i've
really resisted... and i don't know if he cares... ...
but this isn't what i want... or what either of us need.
i know that.

kolby imed me after i accidently imed him... he asked me if
i had any poetry to send... i said.. "no"... hah! ... how
did i not bare my soul to the boy with the eyes that used
to cry "i love you i need you" ... ? ... maybe because this
is the computer and i can't see his eyes... if i could have
his eyes in a mason jar... i would sit them on my night
stand and see if i could still see the "i love you i need
you" in them... ... is that completely morbid? yes.

... if he was here... i would make love to him. i would
give myself entirely to him... ... i wouldn't say
anything... ... ... this is so by the book... MUST
RESIST... CANT... anyhow, yes... i know i wouldn't have a
choice... ... god i love him... i'm pathetic... thankgod...
no one knows this... except jackie... i'm sure she knows
all of this...

... i don't want these feelings...

I HATE LOVING HIM SO FUCKING MUCH... WHEN HES OBVIOUSLY
BEEN INSTRUCTED TO TEAR EVERYTHING DOWN BY SOME ANONYMOUS
ASSHOLE!... maybe that's just his sickness.. maybe it's his
mom... maybe its moloko the kat... ...

my kat's better...

see karma was supposed to be a gift for me... ... that's
how he got his name... (and this cat shall be named
karma... because he is a result of a past life...)...

... ... i don't want to talk to you anymore... for fear
that your not talking back will make me resent you...