All on the table
2001-03-10 03:35:02 (UTC)

I ve got vacation coming up,..

I've got vacation coming up, and we're going to the beach,
starting on Sunday and coming home again on Friday
morning. There are a bunch of reasons why I don't want to
go, but that won't change anything. I feel like I'm whining,
but here goes anyway:

1) I have way too much to do at home to blow all my time
off work away from home.

2) I have way too much to do at work to be taking this
much time off.

3) I really don't want to be around Ann as much as we are
on vacation. That could work out for good, though - I'm so
disgusted with the relationship that I know we'll fight.
Maybe that will convince her that what we have needs critical
care - or convince us both to let it die.

4) I hate the beach. I have always hated the beach. I
especially hate it because everything at the beach is done on
Ann's terms, with me carrying and setting up all the gear
she apparently needs to have her vacation her way. So,
where's my vacation? Where are the trees, mountains,
museums, entertainment, or just about anything that
doesn't involve sitting in the heat for hours?

5) I will desperately miss Suzie. I don't want to not be there
as support for her. I also will miss the contact, the smiles,
the sharing, and all that feeling that goes with a new love. I
know this is a big part of my feelings, but again, these first
four items have been a constant reason for me to hate
vacations for the past 10 years...

Didn't used to be that way...