KrystaoftheStars

It's Hot in Here...
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2001-10-18 06:15:24 (UTC)

Song for a Soul Mate...

Until fairly recently, I always thought that I would find
some kind of a "soul mate", that there was one perfect
person, just for me, but then over the summer I changed my
view on this a bit, and realized that it's more of just a
compatibility issue, and that I could find happiness with
anyone who I found it with, as cliched as that sounds...
And I love my boyfriend and I really want to marry him, but
I read something today about instead of trying to change him
, find someone who already is the final product of my would
be changes...I'm just not sure if the things that I want the
magic "him" to have are big enough to worry about...In my
whole life I've never met the guy who is everything I have
literally ever wanted...M- is definately the closest, but I
do wonder if that someone is out there...It's so strange
though, because I have like the exact picture of what he
looks like and how he acts...
I'm getting a bit side tracked but I just had this thought,
that I'm just apprehensive because I've already committed my
life to this man, we aren't literally engaged, but we're
committed to marrige, and I honestly can not imagine having
a family and having children without him as my
husband...My problem is that a family and a husband is still
five or six years off, and that seems like a very long time
and I feel like I don't know what's going to really happen
and maybe I shouldn't have promised myself to him...I don't
know, I just feel guilty for even being attracted to other
guys, but I know that isn't really healthy, even though I'm
sure it's pretty normal...
Ok, Well I think this is the most non-cohesive thing I have
ever wrote, it really doesn't even make that much sense,
basically a bunch of random thoughts strung together...I
think the point is that I don't have a point and that's a
problem...


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