my lil secrets
2001-03-09 19:41:33 (UTC)

dear diary, i know that i hav..

dear diary, i know that i hav to let R go but im having
troubles figuring out how im going to go bout doing this.
im really scared. i dont want to loose our friendship. im
talking to him now but im not really bringing it up. gawd
ima coward. iv been asking him questions to kinda hint it.
i asked if we always were going to b friends an stuff like
that. oh man, this is so hard im bawling alredy. he keeps
asking me whats wrong. i cant do it. he is asking y im
asking these q's. i dont know what to say. im shaking. i
cant do it while he is at work. i jus cant. i know i hav to-
ill jus do it later, when he is home. he keeps asking me
whats wrong like he can hear me crying. im trying to change
the subject. i think it worked. i cant bleve myself. im
such a horrible person. i feel so awful. an even as i sit
here trying to let him go my mind keeps wondering to
thoughts of B. im ganna go to hell. why did i let this
happen. i should of told B to wait till i got this all
figured out but my heart wouldnt let me stay away from him.
he sumwhat knew bout R b4 but i never talked bout it with
him an he doesnt know the details nor the fact that R still
thinks everything is dandy with us. i need my best friend
here to help me i hope she gets home soon bcuz she is ganna
spend the weekend here like always. she can help me. she
will give me the strength i need to get threw this an tell
me when im wrong. D has always dun that for me from the
first day we met. i never thankd her for it-maybe i should.
well i gatta go pik up sum stuff for the weekend an try to
pic my words for R tonight. ill rite if anything eventful


p.s. if ur ganna respond make sure there is a way i can get
bak to u draca